Aftermath

Never in a million years would I have thought I could get so upset because an actor had died. It wasn't so much that I dislike them...more that I don't know them, and therefore can't feel anything but sympathy for the families and the friends. For some reason, Heath Ledger dying had the effect of a bomb dropping for me, which is probably why I've been dreaming of bombs and shootings and death in general for the past couple of days.

It's only been two days and it feels like forever. And I know why. It's because Heath Ledger was the only actor whose portrayal of a character was so deep, meaningful and utterly amazing that it triggered some kind of change in me, in my personality. It touched me. In a way, I was taking the actor for granted, foolishly thinking he would be there for decades, and give me more of those amazing performances of his. Opportunities for me to change and, therefore, to grow.

But Heath Ledger is gone now, as is the promise of a long career full of amazing roles. After this summer's The Dark Knight, we will never get to see a Heath Ledger movie ever again. He'll never light up the screen with that wonderful presence of his. I'll miss seeing an actor who can actually become a character instead of just playing it. I'll miss it a lot.

The worst part in all of this, other than the tragedy of a father dying and leaving behind his two-year-old daughter, is the trolls. The stupid remarks, mean-spirited comments, attacks on him because he played a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain. To that, I only have one answer really. It would be unkind of me to write it down. But in a nutshell, I guess I would state that I really suffer from this phobia : Homophobia-Phobia. I think anyone who, at this point, is close-minded enough to ridicule homosexual people deserves the worst kind of punishment. I don't know what that is, given that it's different for everybody, but they deserve it. Especially the ones who can't shut up about it and make disparaging comments about gay people. Especially!, the ones who are making horrible comments about Heath Ledger when the man just died. Have a little respect, for goodness' sake!

Back to my point though, I will really miss Ledgend. He was, after all, my favourite actor. I truly hope that his daughter will grow up to be told about her dad.